I am the subject in many of my works. I believe there is a deep tension created between the artist as subject and also the composer of the work. I am interested in making the connection of the use of my body in performance, with the indulgent medium of painting. I use my body as an intimate tool for expression. I build my paintings from moments arising in performance, either staged, or simply from the performative moments in my life.
"Separate", was created in which a pool of dyed water served as a conductor of my reflection, and my body as the agent, which dismantled my reflected image through direct manipulation of the water. I was exploring the idea of separation in one’s identity in relation to the physical image of one's body. By selecting film stills of the documentation where my reflection was contorted, then painting their portrait, I declared a reinvented identity. Deriving from theories surrounding the formation of identity and the self, my work lies somewhere in the exploration of my ambiguous identity in relation to my physical image, not committing my image to being a reflection of my perceived self. I find affinities in my work to Bill Viola in which his film pieces focus on universal human experiences such as birth, death, consciousness. His use of natural elements such as water and human form reflect many areas one finds in my work with performance and video. I also find many parallels in my work in relation to Ana Mendieta, in particular her work, “Siluetas” involving the use of her own body creating an often visceral experience, and the use of natural elements in a ritualistic manner.
Incisions in one's life and incisions in ones body is intertwined. The innards are ingrained and cultivated within a person yet can be taken hostage. In the cycle of birth and life, incisions are made without control. Separation becomes a deciding factor in the physicality of one's body in relation to one’s manifested reality. I am coming to terms with the violent and calculated incisions in my life and the part of me that was inherently mine which now has been separated and split. “Incision” elicits the brutality and visceral portrayal of women’s bodies. Jenny Saville’s work has influenced my decisions for making this piece. In Saville’s seductive yet vulgar paintings of women’s damaged bodily tissue and contorted limbs, I find inspiration to use the texture, color and rhythm of the paint to correspond either the erotic, violent, or composed qualities I want to elicit in my work. I try to capture a similar indulgence and vulgarity portrayed in a painterly manner. I am interested in blending the qualities of the woman’s body, the eroticized and sexual, violence, and the purposeful, surgical and composed aspects of reproduction, sex, the womb, and giving birth through violent yet premeditated and surgical means of the cesarean. The tissue is inverted, soft within a hard shell, extruding by necessity, stretched and extorted. Exteriors are incised and insides are exported.